Book Club: Confessions of a Domestic Failure

Confessions of a Domestic Failure by Bunmi Laditan

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

Can I fan-girl out of a second? I first became acquainted with author, Bunmi Laditan, through her hilarious and honest Facebook and Twitter posts.

That is not even close to her funniest one:

Honest Toddler Bunmi Laditan

After gaining social media celebrity status, Bunmi began using her powers for good. Not only is she hilarious and honest, she also attempts to reduce the stigma of mental health issues through talking about her own struggles. Mental health aside, some parts of being a mom are hard and not fun. She is a voice of reason that helps makes other moms feel okay for feeling normal feelings by admitting this aloud. Thanks for taking one for the team, Bunmi.

Her other books include-

Toddlers are Assholes by Bunmi Laditan
The Honest Toddler by Bunmi Laditan
The Big Bed by Bunmi Laditan

Onto the book review-

Did you ever read Confessions of a Shopaholic? This book, Confessions of a Domestic Failure, has a similar feel in that Ashely Keller, like Rebecca Bloomwood, finds herself in hilarious situations that only she could get herself into. Picture Rebecca Bloomwood, only American, with a kid, less money, and less style. Lovable just the same.

Here’s the backstory-

Ashley Keller is a stay at home mom feeling completely overwhelmed with motherhood and society’s pressure to do everything in a Pinterest-perfect way. Her experience with motherhood isn’t anything like you see on Facebook, although she too, only posts perfectly curated pictures. She turns to famous blogger, Emily, for inspiration. As an attempt to win a contest through Emily’s blog, she pretends to have it all-together. In one exert, she is Skyping with Emily. She puts on a nice top, but doesn’t have on pants, because she is only on Skype after all. Of course, she forgets this fact as she gets up to grab something. To her horror, she flashes the perfect, famous-blogger. Obviously, the way she describes it is so much funnier.

Here’s a few quotes from the book-

“I’d dreamt I had a full staff: a nanny, butler, housekeeper and full-time masseuse. The laundry mountain of shame that lives permanently on my living room couch had vanished, and in its place, eighty-one bottles of delicious exercise wine. What’s exercise wine? It’s a wine that, when consumed, stimulates your muscles, resulting in rock-hard abs. While my nanny, who wasn’t hot enough to be a threat, played with Aubrey on the f loor, I enjoyed sip after mouthwatering sip and watched my kangaroo-pouch stomach tighten into a washboard.”

“You’re just a mom, You feel useless and essential at the same time. You feel like everyone is doing a better job than you and that nobody understands what you’re going through.”

As I get older, I tend to gravitate toward more serious books, but this was hilariously refreshing. I too identify with being a domestic failure, and it is always nice to feel like you are not alone. If there is any take away from this book, it is that every mom sometimes feels like a mess. That doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids, because we would do anything for them. It’s okay to admit we don’t always have it all-together. We are all doing the best we can.

This book reads like a movie. I hope it hits the theaters one day. I’d be rooting for Bunmi the whole way.

Book Club: You are a Badass

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

I tried to start a book club. After asking a handful of my friends if they would be interested in getting together once a month, have some wine, and talk about books, I was met with mostly eye-rolls.

Ta da-this is my new book club, party of one! Enjoy.

My friend and former co-worker, Christina, recently gifted me with, You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. I truly cannot recommend this book enough. It is inspiring, humorous, and relate-able. It’s the kind of book that makes you feel changed after reading it. Like there is a fire from within you to unapologetically go for your goals.

Christina knew I was/am struggling with working mom guilt. I also might have cried in her office. I imagine that is why she felt like I could use a self-help book in my life. Early on in the book there is a line, “…it’s not your fault that you’re fucked up. It’s your fault if you stay fucked up.”

Um, thanks Christina.

But really, thanks.

Sincero carries the same sarcastic, snarky tone throughout. It makes you forget you are reading a self-help book. You read on for the next hilarious story and the self-reflecting questions.

Back to that line I mentioned. She is really trying to get you to think, “what are my self-fulfilling prophecies?” She refers to these as your subconscious and the Big Snooze. Our perception of ourselves really does shape what we think we can do and then ultimately shapes our actions. Rewiring your brain to think you can do things you never thought you could takes some time to figure out. I never thought I could be a millionaire (still not). I never thought I could work in my profession and have more time with my kids (still don’t). But maybe one day…

Throughout the book, she urges the reader to love themselves, ditch self-deprecating humor and to think of ourselves in a positive light. Imagine that. We all have a unique perspective on the world and have something to offer. I saw this as an invitation to truly be myself and find value in my unique traits.

Around New Years, I ask my friends to tell me about their resolutions. A woman said her resolution was to not have a resolution and to just be accepting of herself. This really struck me, because I think we are all focused on how we can be better, smarter, skinnier, richer, etc. It’s a downward spiral from there.

Ok great, you are perfect, now what? Aren’t we trying to change something here? Sincero then goes into really thinking about what we want out of life.

What makes you happy? Make time to do these things.

What makes you jealous? Hint: this is something that you really want.

What are you doing when you lose track of time? This is an indicator of something that makes you happy. Do more of these things.

She also asks you to think about what you feel is missing from your life. What are your excuses as to why you don’t have it?  Yep, if there is something missing that you truly want out of life, you have some excuses. Perhaps they are very valid. Perhaps they are not. She urges you to really think about what you could be doing differently. What steps could you be taking today?

If this all sounds great and you get this book, I feel the need to mention how she talks about energy. This is where I might lose you if I haven’t already. She interchangeably uses spirituality, God, and energy to really cover all the bases for non-religious people. She explains that we are all operating on a frequency. When we are grateful and truly going for our goals, we are operating at a higher frequency. Essentially, the universe is nicer to us. We attract things in our life that we didn’t attract before.

WTF, right?

I think as humans, none of us has all the answers. I do know that I feel better when I am expressing gratitude. I’m also more likely to achieve my goals if I can actually identify my goals, and when I’m taking steps to achieve them.

Worth a shot.

 

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